Thursday, 26 January 2012

Worst Party Game...Ever...

It was the year 2004.  "Drop it Like its Hot"  was in full swing, and I had finished University for the summer.  I had succumbed to the "full bang" and mini skirt trend and life was well on its way.  The summer was humid, my roommate and I spent most evenings out on our deck guzzling cheap wine and playing "Fat or Pregnant?" and "Guess the drug addiction of passerbys". Times were good. 

Also, I had a date. A tall, suave gentleman with just the slightest hint of a mullet and a pension for mini jean shorts.  (Yes, cutoffs with the tiny frayed bottoms) But these were hard times and a girl has to do what a girl has to do.  He was miles  better than the lovely man I had met at the Second Cup who immediately requested a date in which I wore "pigtails and glitter".  So I poofed out my bangs, sucked in my wine gut and off I went to "Mr. Jean Shorts" apartment, where he promised an evening of gourmet taste sensations and top notch romance.  (What, was he planning on me running my fingers gently through his half mullet and pulling the strings off of his jean shorts??)  Well, I arrived to an apartment filled with sweaty frat boys and a handful of girls that I'm pretty sure I recognised from the local "arrest warrant"  news column.  He drunkenly explained that he had gotten our date night muddled up with his roommates party night.  I decided to stick it out in the hopes that I could at least snag some nacho dip and a glass or 4 of free wine.  Awkwardness ensued (as always) when it was announced that it was time for "the party games" to commence.  Well, let me tell you, the Awkward baker is always up for a party game.  I am the queen of "Pin the Dong on Your Fiance" at bachelorette parties and I was determined to fit in with this motley crew.  I may not have gotten my date, but I would be damned if I was leaving without a party favour. 

Suddenly the lights go out and a deep voice loudly proclaimed:  "OK FOLKS, WE'RE GOING TO BE PLAYING A LITTLE GAME YOU ALL KNOW AS.... "WHO'S IN MY MOUTH!!!"

*Insert terribly enthusiastic cheers and whoops from party goers*

....aaaand I'm searching for the nearest the dark....a maze of random unidentified body parts and squishy things....That may or may not have been nacho dip...By the time I find the door and boot it out of there, I am bruised, flat banged and not very sober.  I fall out of the apartment high tail it on home.  Lesson learned.  Do not trust a man in jean shorts.  No exceptions.  Also, don't play "Who's in my mouth."  Ever.  


The recipe of the day is Chocolate Rum Cake. It's awesomeness is pretty much self explanatory, and it's so easy you could call it (insert your easiest friends name here). 

Chocolate Rum Cake 

What you need

1 package chocolate cake mix
1 package (4 serving size) instant chocolate pudding mix
4 eggs
1/2 cup Bacardi dark rum (insert happy face)
1/2 cup cold water
1/2 cup oil
1 1/2 cup cold milk
1/2 cup Bacardi dark rum
1 package (4 serving size) instant chocolate pudding mix
1 envelope Dream Whip whipped topping mix

Do it up:

Heat your over to 350 degrees.  Grease and flour 2 9 inch cake pans.  

-Combine the first 6 ingredients in a large bowl.  Beat it (Yep, I'm singing Michael Jackson as I do this...just let it happen)  for two minutes.  

-Distribute the mix into the pans and bake for 30 minutes.  (Get creative with your pans!!!  Valentines Day is coming up, so get heart pans, or phallic pans for girly parties!!)

Frost it up:

-Combine the last four ingredients and mix on high speed until fluffy and fabulous. 

Frost your first cake and then top it with the second.  Frost it as a whole and get ready to play a game of  "what is that wonderful thing in my mouth!!!" 


Quote of the day from "Cougartown":  

Jules:   You see that young gentleman over there?  I'd love to lick his body.
Woman:  That's my son
Jules: Ooh...he looks smart.