While out perusing the grocery store for new recipe ideas, I developed the most horrendous case of "STFU" syndrome (Shut the F*ck Up). It's usually best if I just high tail it on home on these days, but when a girl has a hankering for some pudding, she best be getting her pudding!!!! (whoops!! Almost put two ss in place of the d in pudding...whew!! Awkward blog moment spared!!!)
So there I am, perusing the fruit and veggie aisle when I absentmindedly ran into a lovely display of mini bananas. You know the absurd looking ones that are the size of your fingers??? Man I love those bananas. Well I picked them up and feeling a bit naughty, I placed one strategically beneath two oranges. Well I got a case of the giggles. Yes it was preteen fascination at best, but I'll take a laugh when and where I can get it. And not only did I giggle, but I "donkey laughed". (You know that strange super loud noise you make when trying to conceal a laugh, but only end up belting out an awkward noise that more sounds like a mentally challenged "hee haw" than a "ha ha"?) Yeah, that happened. Trying to cover my tracks I then began to hum loudly as to make my fellow shoppers believer that perhaps I was just singing a little tune. Unfortunately for me, I am the worlds most awful hummer and sounded more like a wounded pigeon on crack.
I then had a slightly uncomfortable encounter with the "Meat Man" when he asked if he could help me. I responded "No thank you....I am on the "sausage hunt". While saying this, I somehow managed to give the man a thumbs up as well as a wink. I think I either made his day, or invited a sexual harassment suit. I guess we'll see the next time I'm in! (Note to self: Perhaps buy sausages elsewhere)
I figured it was time to leave the store, but not before one more awkward conversation with a lovely poofy haired woman with Mick Jagger lips and a gorgeous red purse.
Awkward Baker(standing a bit too close to the lady, because the man behind smells of old cheese) : "You could fit a large sized sweater into your purse." *Makes pained face at strange choice of words...then tries to smile so as to not seem too "Rain Man".
Lovely lady with poofy hair: "Er...yes, I suppose I could..." looks around nervously.
Awkward Baker: "Red is nice too" *Quickly grabs Mr. Big bar and scoots to the next checkout..."
I then rushed home to make Chocolate Pudding Shooters. Do it. Seriously, they are amazing. Kind of like being 6 again...only better, since you are getting a bit sloshed!
You will need:
- Instant chocolate pudding mix (Oooh, memories of the old Bill Cosby commercials are rushing back to me. Do yourself a favour and You Tube them.)
- 3/4 cup milk
- 1/4 cup vodka (smiles)
- 1/2 cup Baileys Irish Cream (Any old Gregg fans out there? "Bailey's. Mmm... creamy. Soft creamy beige.")
- 500 g Cool Whip (Just use your leftovers from last nights "whipped cream bikini")
- Mix the pudding and milk together.
- Joyously stir in the vodka and Irish Cream. (Sing a little song about how happy you are to be doing this)
- Add Cool Whip
- Put the mix into your desired glasses
- Put in the freezer for half an hour or so.
- Consume and enjoy!!!
Quote from "Modern Family"
Cameron: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
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